Josiah Meadows

The Birth Story… and beyond

 I debated on calling this story Josiah’s birth story or Jennifer’s birth story… but the truth is that it is more than just a birth story.  It IS a story of a birth, but it is also a story of the grace of the Lord through many trials in the weeks after the birth as well.  The good news is that the Lord is so very faithful through all the trials and tribulations that HE allows his children to face…. So that HE may be glorified.

 The story began on July 21, 2005 when Jay and I met for the first time.  The following months flew by as we planned our fairytale wedding and began our lives together as husband and wife in January 2006.  We found out that we were going to be expecting our first baby in September that same year and we were thrilled.  The pregnancy progressed normally and healthy until about 34 weeks when my blood pressure began to creep up slightly. After 2 weeks of taking it easy the blood pressure stayed under control, so we thought we were right on track for a normal delivery.  I had been saying the whole pregnancy that I wanted to have a baby on May 12^th, which was 2 weeks before the official due date of May 27^th.  But on Friday evening April 27^th, the baby in my belly decided it was time to come out.  I was 35 weeks and 5 days pregnant when I got up at 9:41 PM to go to the bathroom.  While I was sitting on the toilet I felt a “pop” and had a small gush of fluid.  I thought it was just another gush of pee…. But I thought it was strange, so I moved and leaned to the right and another gush… then I leaned to the left and another gush… I felt a sense of panic as the realization sank in that my water had broken…. Knowing that I was not yet 36 weeks which is the earliest that we are allowed to deliver a baby at home.  So I yelled for Jay who was sleeping soundly since he had to get up at 2:30 AM to go to work… He didn’t budge.  So I got a handful of toilet paper and held it between my legs and walked to the bathroom door and yelled at Jay again, “Jay wake up! My water broke!”  Jay replied, “What! That’s not supposed to happen yet!”  I said, “I know, but my water is broke, call mom!”  By this time the toilet paper in my hand is soaked and the water is running down my legs so I went back and sat on the toilet and the water kept running out.  By this time Jay came in a handed me the phone, mom who was groggy from being woken up asked if I was sure it was my water.  By this time the gushing continued and I was beginning to feel crampy.  When I wiped the paper was tinged pink, it was definitely time to have a baby.  So mom and I debated… should we try to stay at home…. should we go to the hospital.  We decided to go to mom’s house and look with the ultrasound machine…. We had not found out the sex of the baby which makes some difference in deciding to stay home or not.  Boy baby’s lungs tend to mature a little slower than baby girls.  We thought if we could tell it the baby was a girl we would stay home, but if it was a boy we would go to the hospital.  I had Jay get me some of the baby diapers that we got for a shower gift…. I wore that diaper to catch the water that kept pouring out as I was getting ready to go.  We ran around the house frantically getting things ready and trying to remember everything we needed.  We headed for mom’s finally about 10:30 PM. 

At mom’s we listened to the baby whose heart rate was in the 130’s, a great, normal rate.  We got the ultrasound machine out and looked… we couldn’t get a clear picture but it looked like boy parts.  So mom called Northcrest… Dr. O’Donnell was not on call, it was another doctor whom we had never met and had no idea what his feelings were about midwives.  He of course said we needed to be in the hospital.  (Because of my horrible experience with this doctor I will not say his name, but I will say I would never recommend him to anyone!)  I was very upset and cried for the first time in this ordeal because I didn’t want to have a horrible hospital experience.  Mom tried to call Dr. O’Donnell at home, but he didn’t answer so we prayed and headed to Northcrest Hospital.  I called a few friends on the way to have them pray… the Lord filled me with peace.  I was not worried, I knew that the Lord would work everything out.  We arrived at the hospital at 11:30 PM.  We registered in the ER and up to the L&D floor.  They put me in the triage room to check to see if my water was really broken… I assured the nurse it was.  And the nitrazine paper confirmed it.  So she took me right to a birthing room.  Then the “hospital bells and whistles” began… a lovely hospital gown, contraction and heart rate monitors on my belly, an IV (which was horrible, that was as painful as the labor and I had a bruise for 3 weeks from it!), a blood pressure cuff that pumped up every 15 minutes…. Then the nurse checked my cervix, I was dilated to 2 cm and 80% effaced.  Then the doctor came in and asked when I wanted my epidural, I told him that I wasn’t getting one since I had planned a homebirth and was planning on going all natural.  His response was (with a smart tone) “That’s fine with me I won’t feel any pain.  I’ll send anesthesia home.”  I thought it was kind of rude, but oh well.  Then he said to the nurse, “If she hasn’t progressed by 7 AM start pit.”  I asked him if I could get up and walk and only be on the monitor intermittently… to which he responded, “Absolutely not, your water is broke, the baby’s cord will fall out and it will die!”  Of course this is not true, but unfortunately being in the hospital you don’t have a lot of choice but to play their game.  Then he walked out to the room.  The one nurse from the nursery was checking me in and getting all my health history but another nurse was my assigned nurse.  A few minutes later my nurse came in and said “This baby looks like crap on the monitor… if it keeps this up you’ll get a c-section.”  I told her that the baby was fine, and was just sleeping, the heart rate stayed in the normal 130’s range the whole night. When the nurses left the room, me and Jay and mom prayed and broke the curses spoken over me and the baby.  We prayed that the Lord would protect me and the baby and that we would have a normal birth experience.  Everyone kept telling me to get some rest… yea right!  Who can rest with all that stuff hooked up to you!  I did try but did not succeed.  All night I had some small contractions about 5 to 8 minutes apart, but they were mild and short.  We kept praying for longer and stronger contractions.  They really never came… without help anyway. 

Finally at about 6:45 AM my nurse came to check my dilation… I was now 3 cm and 90% effaced.  Not enough change to leave things alone.  So we started the pitocin just after 7 AM.   The whole night I kept saying I would have a baby before 9 AM, and that if we had to start the pit, it would only take a tiny bit to kick my labor in.  The pit started on the IV pump on 2, this means 2 drops in a minute, it is the lowest setting.  The normal hospital protocol is that they turn up the setting by 2’s every 15 minutes.  I believe the pit started officially at 7:10 AM.  It got turned up to 4 in 15 minutes.  But 7:30 I was having strong contractions every 2 to 3 minutes lasting a minute or more each.  By this time I was moaning through each contraction.  By 8:00 the contractions were VERY intense, the nurse checked me and I was dilated to 4 cm and 100% effaced.  By 8:30 I was getting louder, the contractions were feeling stronger and I was having quite a few double peak contractions.  The nurse checked me again and I was 6 cm.   Jill and Heather arrived by now, they were my photographer and videographer.  I was so intensely involved in my labor at this point I could not be sociable.  I tried to say hello in between contractions, but that is about all the talking I did.  My mom was on my right side and Jay was on my left side. One time Jay left to go to the bathroom and Jill stood in his place, it was terrible, her fingers were way too skinny, ha ha.  Once I got in a rhythm of getting through each contraction I didn’t want my coping helps to change.  I told Jay when he returned that he wasn’t allowed to leave again.  By 9:00 I was nearly in tears, the contractions were so intense and most of them were having double peaks.  At this point I was so irritated at the IV in my hand that was hurting so bad and the stupid blood pressure cuff that kept pumping up during the worst contractions.  I kept saying things like, “Turn that pit off right now!!!”  And, “Take this blood pressure cuff off, I can’t take it anymore!”  I begged the nurse to turn the pit back down to 2 instead of 4, but she would not do it.  I was so overwhelmed by the intensity.  At some point I did ask for pain medicine, I can’t recall exactly when it was, but I looked at my mom and said “I can’t do it, I need something for pain.”  She assured me that I was doing great and that things were going so fast I wouldn’t have time to get anything.  The only thing that was getting me through each contraction was Jay standing next to me.  I was sitting up on the bed leaning forward and to the left laying my head on Jay’s chest.  I was also squeezing mom’s hand on the right and Jay’s hand on the left.  Jay was so sweet, a few times I looked up at him after a long and hard contraction and he was crying.  I know it was really hard on him to see me in so much pain and not be able to fix it.  I was moaning so loud, they had to move the only other lady on the L&D floor to the other end of the hospital.  Later I was told the nurses out at the nurses station were saying, “At least she can carry a tune!”  I kept thinking about how loud I was being, but I couldn’t help it.  It was the only way I could get through it.  I must say that through all the horrible hospital stuff, that I did have a wonderful nurse. She was so encouraging and helpful.  She never once doubted that I could do it without getting pain meds.  So finally it was 9:15 and in the peak of each contraction when I was moaning, my body began to push uncontrollably.  The nurse checked me and I was 9cm.  She told me not to push, to which my response was I can’t help it, I’m not pushing, my body is doing it.  So she went to call the doctor and set up all the birthing equipment.  I kept pushing uncontrollably with each contraction, mom did a good job of helping me breath and not push as much.  Finally the doctor came in and told me I wasn’t aloud to make all that noise when it was time to push, I assured him when I could push I would just push out a baby quickly.  So mom asked him if he could not cut the cord right away and allow it pulse for a few minutes… he asked why… mom answered that we would like for the baby to get all of the blood from the placenta…. To which the doctor replied in a smart tone, “The baby has all the blood he needs.”  I was frustrated but I was so emotionally into my labor that I couldn’t express my frustration.  Then in between contractions I communicated that I did not want an episiotomy… to which the doctor replied “I’ll TRY not to cut one.”  Then I told him, “No, DO NOT cut me, if I tear that’s fine, but do not cut me.”  He just said “Fine!” and then walked out of the room because I wasn’t quite ready to push yet.  My sister who was standing out in the hall, later told us that the doctor went out to the nurses station and said to the nurses, “We’ll just see how bad she wants to tear.”  A few minutes later he came in and put on his sterile gown and had the nurse lay my bed back completely flat so I could try to push, I asked if I could sit up some so I could push better, he said “No, I can’t reach you that way.”  So when the next contraction came he checked my cervix and was not polite about it,  I was hurting so bad because I was laying flat on my back I could hardly stand it.  When that contraction was over, my bed was sat back up and I opened my eyes and looked up… the doctor was gone and his gown was wadded up in the floor.  I asked what happened and I was told that I had a small lip and wasn’t quite ready to push yet.  About 10 minutes later the nurse checked again and I was finally complete, it’s time to push!  Yeah!  So she had to go get another sterile gown for the doctor who had gotten mad and thrown the other one in the floor because it wasn’t time before. So he came back in, laid my bed down, broke the bottom half down, and got everything ready.  It was about 9:40 when I began pushing, the first push was very intense… I squealed as I pushed with everything I had in me.  I knew the doctor had his fingers in me, to see if I was making progress I thought…. It felt like my whole bottom end was going to explode… the pressure was tremendous.  The doctor fussed at me when I squealed saying “I thought you weren’t going to do that when you could push.”  The only response I had at the time was to pray… out loud I said, “Dear Jesus this hurts so bad, please help me!”  Thankfully the Lord did help me.  I was thinking in my head that it hurt so bad that I just had to push this baby out fast because the faster I push him out the faster I won’t be in pain anymore.  (I found out later that on that first push the doctor had torn my perineum inside with his fingers… I guess that was his way of torturing me for not allowing him to cut an episiotomy.)  So I kept pushing as the pressure got more and more, finally I asked, “Can you see the baby yet?” My sister said they could see the babies head.  I pushed once more and the head was out… I reached down and put my hands on my babies head, what a wonderful feeling to know this precious life that you have been feeling growing inside was finally almost out.  I kept pushing and slowly the shoulders came followed by the rest of the baby.  The most amazing thing of natural unmedicated childbirth is the feeling of your baby coming out.  I felt every inch of my baby come out… it was like my hands were there feeling every part of the baby, the head, shoulders, arms, chest, bottom, legs, and feet.  That feeling was so awesome it is hard to describe it with words.  After months of waiting and hours of labor, my baby was finally put up on my belly for me to hold in my arms… I cried with joy that the baby I had waited so long for was finally here.  Jay and I looked in each others eyes, both with tears… what a wonderful feeling.  We had decided before that Jay would announce the sex of the baby because we had not found out… well as the baby was laying on my belly I could see the gender very well and I thought everyone else could too… I kept waiting like what seemed like forever and he didn’t say it… so I finally said “It is a boy!” Later Jay said, “I was supposed to say that.” I apologized and explained why I made the announcement.  The baby was crying and pink, that’s what really mattered… and surprisingly the doctor did let his cord go for a couple of minutes before he clamped it.  After a few minutes of rejoicing, they finally did take the baby over to the warmer which was next to my bed.  He was having slight trouble breathing so they suctioned him really well and then he did much better.  The fear of immature lungs was never lived out, praise the Lord.  The doctor took joy in suturing the tear he made and another small labial tear… but only after he pulled my placenta out, typical doctor.  We were all surprised to see how tiny and thin my placenta was… and the cord was very thin as well.  I guess my lack of eating protein first trimester had more impact than I thought (I was very nauseated and meat made me ill).  I came to the conclusion that is why my water broke so early.  Also I had said my whole pregnancy that I didn’t want to have a huge baby, so when the baby got 7 lbs. I was going to induce my labor… well the baby weighed 6 lb 14 oz. The power of the spoken word is very interesting… even though I didn’t induce myself, my body knew when he was almost 7 lbs.  Shortly after the birth everything was cleaned up and put back together and I was handed my baby.  Mom, Jill, and Heather had to leave quickly because they had to go to my baby shower!  That’s right, I missed my own baby shower because I had just delivered my baby.  Then Jay and I were all alone with the baby, the next task was figuring out what this little man’s name was going to be.  This was a long discussion throughout the pregnancy, but we finally came to a decision… Josiah Shalom Meadows.  Little Josiah was so sweet, I couldn’t believe he was here!

After the birth the story went on… over the next few weeks and months the drama only continued.  Josiah began his life in the midst of the bells and whistles of a hospital, but we were able to go home that night.  Because I pushed him out so fast, his face and head were very bruised, so the on call pediatrician required that he get a vitamin K shot or she wouldn’t let him go home that night.  So I gave in and let him get the shot.  Because he was a month early, his liver was a bit immature, and all the bruising, and the vitamin K shot…. All of this led to him becoming very jaundice.  We ended up at Vanderbilt Children’s Hospital on Tuesday night with his biliruben level at 24.9, this is extremely high.  He was admitted to the NICU with an IV and 3 bili-lights and a bili-blanket.  We were there for 3 days and finally went home Friday evening with a biliruben at 11.  We were home for the weekend and then went back to the Hospital on Monday evening for the biliruben back up to 16 again.  We were only there for 2 days that time and came home again, this time with a bili-blanket for 2 days at home.  After 2 weeks and about a hundred heel sticks Josiah’s biliruben was finally under control.  Through all of this we were also have nursing problems… not latching well and gaining weight very slowly.  The nursing problems continued over the next several weeks… until I had emergency gallbladder surgery when Josiah was 6 weeks old.  After the surgery we supplemented for a few days… then we figured out at 7 weeks old that Josiah was tongue tied.  We had his tongue clipped, this helped some, but we never really recovered from all the nursing issues.  At 3 months old Josiah had lost over half a pound so I started him on a bottle to keep up with how much he was eating.  Within 24 hours he refused to nurse anymore.  I kept pumping for another month until I just couldn’t do it anymore.  So at 4 months old, Josiah was on formula.  This broke my heart, I never in my life thought I, of all the people in the world, would have my baby on a bottle… taking formula!  It still makes me sad when I think about it, but I have decided to move on with life.  I am very thankful that formula has come a long way and it is better than when I was a baby.  And the truth is that babies thrive on formula everyday.  I am very thankful that Josiah is growing well now and gaining weight much better these days.  He is happy and smiles all the time.  He is such a good baby, I couldn’t ask for anything more…. That is until Josiah was 5 months old… and I found out I’m going to have another baby!!!  Wow, we are in for another adventure.  I just pray that I am able to have a wonderfully sweet homebirth this time and a healthy baby that nurses well for a long time! 

God is so very faithful, I am thankful to Him for all He has done for me and my family.