Zoe Faith Charlton
The story begins in 2004 when my daughter Georgia was born via unnecessary c-section for CPD. I didn't really get a trial of labor. And I didn't know I could say no. The story continues in 2006 when my son was born via c-section after 50 hours of labor 2 hours of pushing. I was more informed this time, but I still said yes to Pitocin and then an epidural and then another section. This leads us up to the birth story of my 3rd child in 2007.
I was not planning of having another child, at least not any time soon. After Bishop was born, I had PPD. I am sure this was from the repeat c-section as I was truly devastated I did not get my much sought after VBAC. God had a different plan for us. I found out I was pregnant a little after Bishop turned 1 year old. Not only could we not afford another child right now, but was I going to try for a VBA2C or was I just going to give in to what our American OB system had for me - another cesarean? When I was still in the 1st trimester I met with a homebirth midwife, Kathy. She could take me, and my husband, Keith, was supportive after speaking with her, but did I want to set myself up for another disappointment? I really didn't want to deal with it, so I kept putting off the decision until around 20 weeks. I finally had somebody ask me, would I be more disappointed in having another c-section and didn't even try? I then knew what I needed to do - Had to do. I finally called Kathy back. She took me even though she was full for the time around my EDD, but I think she also knew I did not have other options if I wanted to have a vaginal birth. Because of all of her mamas due around my EDD, I would be going to her house to have the baby. She has a birthing room and tub set up.
My EDD was 11/18/07, but Bishop had been 3 weeks late. This time, I was taking a 5-week prenatal formula and zinc to try to get the baby to come a little closer to the EDD. I was ready to have this baby. Taking care of 2 other small children made the end of the pregnancy a little tiresome, but all in all it was still a good pregnancy. November 18th came and went. But two days later, I started having some regular contractions after I woke up from an afternoon nap. Then I noticed that my waters were leaking. I was pretty sure I was in labor. I decided to start packing bags for the kids and getting labor things together while I waited for Keith to get home from work. We get the kids to my parents and go to a mall to eat a late dinner and walk. We decided to go to a movie, in which is when I believe my labor moved from early to active. It was still too early to head to the midwife's house so we went home to labor. Keith laid down to take a nap, at my request, while I labored (and straightened up the house). After a couple of hours I felt like it was time to head to Kathy's house.
We get there at about 5 am and Jennifer, Kathy's daughter who is also a midwife, is there to "check me in." My waters are indeed leaking and I am dilated to a 4. Not bad. Keith puts on some labor music and I try to rest through contractions, which is really hard when I just wanted to be standing when I have them. I try to lie down and rest, but I just end up throwing up after a contraction. I get on the birth ball and am able to rest some while leaning on the bed and when a contraction hits I would stand up and Keith would support me. My waters burst and my contractions get stronger. I try to get into the tub, but after throwing up again, I get out and find I like laboring on the toilet. I start screaming out during contractions and Kathy comes in to see if she can check me. I was defiantly in transition as I was saying, "I can't do this" and was thinking, "you know a 3rd c-section wouldn't be that bad." Keith and Kathy were both there "cheering me on" and encouraging me. At some point I ask Keith to stop touching me, and then a little later to stop talking to me. I was scared to get checked because what if I was at a 6 now after 4 hours of labor, but I WAS AN 8. What an encouragement!
Keith calls our friend Sarah to come since she was going to take pictures of the birth. During these contractions, I was starting to loose it. I was praying in between (if I got an in between) to let me have a rest before pushing. God decided that I didn't need a break, but was trying to hurry the labor along for me. It may have been 15 minutes after Kathy checked me that I was pushing a little at the end of each contraction. Kathy came in to check me again as she didn't want me to be tearing my cervix - I was a 10!!! I ask to have the tub filled up again because I really wanted to experience waterbirth (or not tear). In the process of trying to get from the toilet to the tub, I start squatting and pushing while holding onto the side of the tub. I think I politely ask Kathy to stop touching me at this point. It’s kinda funny to me know that I am so polite to my husband and midwife, because I really can be quite rude, just ask Keith. Every time I try to lift my leg to get into the tub I have another contraction. I just continue my bearing down at the tub while screaming through the contractions. I am feeling the baby moving down. I start feeling movement, but in the back of my mind I remember that I pushed for 2 hours before, and although I don't think I doubted I could do this at this point, I just thought I had a long way to go. Not so. I started feeling the "ring of fire" and just keep bearing down as hard as I could. Before I knew it the head was out and they told me to stop pushing, but I didn't really hear them. The babies cord was wrapped around her neck, but they must have got it, because I pushed the baby out with the next contraction.
I DID IT! I remember looking at Keith's tear filled eyes, and Kathy and Jennifer telling me to just sit down so I could hold my baby. I was holding my new baby that I pushed out my vagina! I just kept saying, "my baby, my baby." over and over. I really didn't even think about if it was a boy or girl until Kathy said GIRL (which I had predicted throughout the pregnany). Her color was great, but her cry was laid back, so they suctioned her and everything was perfect. I delivered my placenta and then made it to the bed so I could just enjoy my little girl. My little girl that I gave birth to! She didn't really feel like nursing yet, so we just enjoyed each other. I have to say that I was not expecting the after birth pains. Having 2 prior c-sections, I never felt them with all the drugs, so this was new and let me just tell you - they hurt. Jennifer asked if she had a name. No, she didn't. I really didn't feel well enough to talk about it yet, so I needed to try to feel better so Keith and I could solidify our baby girl’s name. Oh, Sarah arrives just after the birth. Who knew I would go so fast. I figured she would be there in plenty of time since Keith called her when I was at 8 cm. She's bummed that she missed it, but starts taking pictures of my new baby girl.
We start making our calls to everyone. No, we still didn’t have a name. The after birth pains were killer, but finally I started feeling better and we decided to name her Zoë Faith Charlton. Zoë is the Greek word for life and we got that from Pastor Darnell speaking on spiritual life all the time. And Faith is my middle name.
As Keith, the baby and I were lying in bed resting, I had an emotional, healing cry over my first two cesareans. It has been a long, hard journey to get to this point. I am not bitter at the mistakes of the previous doctors, but my hope is that woman will start educating themselves to what is best for themselves and their babies when it comes to childbirth.
After resting a few more hours, we all went home to unite our family together. That was one of the other things I LOVED about the homebirth, was that my young children would have to be separated from their new baby and their mother for 4 or 5 days while I healed up. I loved coming home and we all got to be together.
It was so empowering to have a VBA2C, but I know now that it didn’t make me a better mother just by giving birth. I had it all along; the childbirth just opened my eyes to me.
It was one of the most amazing experiences of my life and I would go through it all again in a heartbeat.
Oh, and she was 9 pounds 5 ounces and 21 inches long AND NO
TEARING! CPD??? It just sounds like a lame excuse now doesn’t it?! She is my
smallest baby, but the midwifes said I could have easily had a 10 pounder. Let’s
see, I went to the hospital two times to have my babies and got cut up with
major abdominal surgery TWO TIMES! I finally stay away from the hospital and
have a gentle, natural birth that God intended for me.